Master the Art of Playing it Cool

Master the art of Playing it Cool with these 6 simple steps!

1. Get that grin off your face. No self-respecting cool person smiles that much.

2. Reveal very little about yourself. Mystery is sexy and obviously always cool. Even when you’re getting to know someone and they tell you their life story, be super duper vague about your own life. Say things like “I don’t know, I’m just…” and ” Yeah, I mean, I like, you know…” and don’t finish your sentences. Everyone loves an enigma.

3. You just met someone that makes your heart palpitate like an African drum. You go on a date that feels magical and you can’t quite remember if it was a dream when you wake up the next day. You haven’t connected with someone like this in so long, or ever, really. So of course ignore them, naturally.

4. Show nothing is too cool for you by speaking less. Say you just watched a fantastic film you found so empowering that it made you reconsider you life choices up to this point. As you exit the theater, your friend excitedly asks,   ” How’d you like it? You coolly respond, ” It was good.”

5. A.H.P.- Always have pockets. Your pockets are your superpower for cool in all social situations. While you watch your super-powerless friends stand uncomfortably with their arms folded or hanging awkwardly at their sides, you exude the air of confidence with one or two of your coool hands placed in your pockets, speaking all smoothly to your peers like the cool kid you are. But don’t you remove that hand there, buddy, or you will find free hand motion as a certain form of kryptonite. Your voice will crack, your legs will wobble, and you will become a Cinderella pumpkin of the awesomeness that was once hands-in-pocket-you.

6. Always,always, always care what every person thinks of you. This way, your guard will be up no matter what, so no one will catch you off guard and reveal the Oz that is your inner nerd.

 

Disclaimer: Resident queerdo, Jas Joyner, is in no way qualified to tell anyone what is actually cool as Jas is indeed a perpetual dork. All things listed above should not be practiced in one’s real life. 

 

MORE by Jaz Joyner

More by Jaz Joyner

“I’m not emotionally available. “

 “Are you… physically available?”

  I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself. Here is this beautiful girl standing in front of me, once interested in me. Once wanting me. If the only thing holding her back was emotions, why the hell do we need those? She looked at me, angry and frustrated, her brows furrowed and her skin a burnt orange under the frying sun. She rolled her eyes and prepped her feet to stand and I stared at her. I watched her go before she’d left as if I could see the future. I felt myself wanting her the way I thought she’d wanted me, and I couldn’t take it. I grabbed her arm and squeezed like a child to its blanket. She was my security and without her I was naked. I felt vulnerable. Not in the way people feel when they’ve been exposed in a way that makes them uncomfortable. More like a part of me had been kidnapped and I had no leads on how to find it. I didn’t know how to change her mind or make her want me the way I thought she did before.

   “Kate.”

  I said, like speaking out her name unlocked some feeling in her she didn’t know she had. I was kidding myself. She ripped her arm from my grasp and stood over me. I felt like a piece of dust, just waiting for her to blow me away. I stood, towering over her, giving me this false sense of power I wish I had.

   “I’m sorry.”

    I would have rather she said nothing at all. Her words were poison. I didn’t want to stand anymore. She was moving away from me and I had no more ideas. I watched as her back turned to me and she slinked down the sunny sidewalk in her clunky red heels. I just knew she would look back at me. I knew she’d have second thoughts and come back to me, but she didn’t. She walked all the way down the block and I stood there like a zombie, wishing for more. More of anything really. I wasn’t picky.